Yesterday; I learned a lesson that I have had to learn many times; because I don’t make the same mistake once; I need to repeat it five or six times; to make sure I got it. Kind of like the concussion; it wasn’t enough so I had to take a few more hits to the head to; well if you’ve been following then you know.

Years ago; I was approached by a medicine man. What I was told was something that I never really thought was possible. It happened; you see the Picasso in my room; the man who drives me crazy; but who I can’t stop running after and waiting for; the guy who talks in circles; takes me from confused to fucking frustrated and then to “get the fuck out of my way I’m going to kill you,” is the best part of my day. One that I would give up anything for.

I write this because here in my world; I am walking away from an opportunity; more for someone else; due to a closed mind. You see this person doesn’t seem to understand that some people can’t engage and has a misconceived, completely wrong perception about someone because they think that they know everything. So much so they are willing to let a potential goldmine disappear.

I used to be like this person. I feel pity for her. Because she will never get to know the person I have gotten to know over the last almost year. She will never get the chance to watch me recover from the head injury; nor will her dog understand or forgive her with his sad brown eyes because the two guys he loves most; are no longer in his life.

I used to be like this person. It made life dull; boring; and lonely. I used to make up my mind about the person based off of first impressions; but it’s not the First impression that means the most because you never know what a person is going through when you meet them; what struggles they’re fighting to overcome, what personal hell they live daily; or what fucked up things they have had to endure or see before they crossed your path. And in my 34 years I’ve probably walked away from more people and written off more people than I ever gave a chance to.

If I would’ve stopped; paused, and cared; my life would be a whole lot richer. But I thought I knew everything, had to prove everybody wrong, and I could never back down. That is until recently, recently people that I never would’ve thought twice about; people that would’ve pissed me off to no end, people Who I thought were the lowest of the low, are the ones that I want to be with every day.

You see these people really aren’t the lowest of the low, they worked; they had jobs; they had families; the things that they had to endure, the things that they had to see and the things that they had to live through; these are things that you even in your dizziest daydreams could never fathom. These are things that you, maybe even I would never be able to live through.

So my question is when you meet somebody do you have a preconceived notion as to who they are based off their appearance? Or do you have an open mind?



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Joel Jared Ehmann

Joel Jared Ehmann

A Man, A Dog & Their Road to Health | Sleepless inSouth Beacon Hill | Fierce Ramblings of an HIV+ gay male longing the day when the struggle ends & life begin.